Lukewarmness can have various meanings depending on the context. But the word doesn’t usually have positive connotations. For example, most people don’t enjoy a lukewarm shower because the water temperature has to be just right or cold if it’s a hot summer’s day. People don’t enjoy lukewarm food, it either has to be hot or cold depending on the type of food. The worst kind of lukewarmness occurs in behavioral form. Usually we tend to dislike people who are lukewarm because they present unpalatable qualities. Example of these qualities are, people who are indecisive, uncertain, indifferent, uncommitted, unresponsive and wishy-washy.

Another kind of lukewarmness is one that happens inside of you, where you feel like you have lost enthusiasm and zeal for life. I am by default a very optimist person but of recent, I have been having an internal emotional battle with this.

I have been feeling so overwhelmed and I have been sharing with my friend about how tired I am. In a quest to regain my strength, I read through old notes as reminders that every situation eventually passes. Yesterday, I bumped into a note I had written, shared by a speaker at a conference I was attending. The note read, “people are not tired, they just uninspired”. As I read this I just thought to myself, ‘wow, what a timely word for me’. According to the vocabulary dictionary the word inspire comes from the Latin word that means to “inflame or to blow in to”. “When you inspire something, it is as if you are blowing air over a low flame to make it grow”. As I battle this feeling of lukewarmness, I realised that at the root of my feeling lukewarm is an existential crisis. I am at the brink of entering my thirties and I have placed pressure on myself to have certain things sorted.

I want my fire back because lukewarmness doesn’t feel like home and shouldn’t be home.  I guess part of the reason for writing this piece is my initial step towards finding healing and a resolute. I hate how lukewarmness feels on me because it undermines the beauty of the gift of life. I hate how lukewarmness feels on me because it makes me forget that I am divinity inside and I have a significant contribution to make in the world.

I am writing a love letter to myself, reminding me that it’s okay to take time out to breathe, to take it easy and to not give up on pursuing those things that set my soul on fire…


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