A few days ago, someone did something that completely contradicted what they had said about themselves months before. They continued to reaffirm the positive statement they had made about themselves even after the contradicting behaviour and I was taken aback by this. To a point where I judged them. Whilst in that zone of judging this person, I was reminded of something powerful my friend always used to say.
In our conversations about individuals, she used to say, “You know Bongs, if someone says they are something, believe them because maybe that’s what they are aspiring to be”.
I have not heard my friend say this in a long time but I thank God that I was reminded of it. I started reflecting that many times we judge people based on their current character, which is not always fair.
So, for example, if someone says about themselves “I am a kind person” we judge them on the moments where they have not been kind to us and we look at them through the “lens” of how we interact or have interacted with them. But we should be sensitive to realise that, maybe they are really aspiring to be a kind or kinder person even if they not that yet.
I think maybe we ought to believe people more and not necessarily judge them on their “current” flaws.
Maybe the person believes that the more they say out loud what they aim to be, the more it will trigger a chain reaction in their brain and eventually they will hold themselves accountable to be a kind person. Maybe we should start believing that people genuinely want to change for the better. I acknowledge that sometimes this can be an extremely long process and very difficult. But put yourself in your neighbours shoes, don’t you also want to change and be better? Don’t you want to be easily forgiven and for people not to judge you for every little mistake you make? I am a fundamental believer that whatever seeds you sow, you will reap. So, the more we able to put ourselves in our neighbours shoes and believe that people can change and become better, the more that will become a reality in our lives through how other people will treat us.