I think India Arie rightly stated it when she uttered the words “…I am not my hair; I am not this skin; I am not your expectations no no…” As I was cooking and humming some melodies in my kitchen, I had one of those reflective moments about life. I thought about some of the people I had encountered and some of the decisions I had made.
All of a sudden it hit me! I realized that most of my disappointments in life, had come from relationships where I had expected too much from people. Having expectations is a part and parcel of every relationship.
Think about it, at work our bosses have expectations of us to deliver and do great work. We also have expectations that they in turn would be supportive and guide us accordingly, so that we deliver. When one feels their expectation is not being met that can cause a lot of unhappiness. In our relationships with our friends and partners, we often get disappointed and hurt if somehow an expectation is not met.
I have had fights with friends and family, because they had expected me to say something in a particular situation or do something and I didn’t do it. I just really think sometimes we live life measuring people with our own individualized scales. How accurate those scales are, I don’t know?
Just because you think I must do or say something, doesn’t mean I think the same thing and that’s okay because we are different people.
As people, sometimes we are really not diligent in terms of how we handle our hearts…we lay it open anyhow, and we wonder why we get heartaches. We have to be diligent with protecting our hearts, after all, the issues of life flow from it.
Am I suggesting that you go through life without expectations?! No! Not at all. All I am saying is, we have to learn somehow not to let our hearts get rooted in unrealistic expectations.
My enjoy life tip is this: Just live your life fulfilling God’s will. Look to HIM and don’t be so overly concerned about noticing everything people do or don’t do, about what they say or don’t say…live with a heart full of joy!